Meeting Update


We have a support group for moms in the Tulsa area!

Our group meets the first Thursday of every month from 7-9p.
We welcome all moms who are parenting children who have Asperger's Syndrome.
For locations and last minute updates about meetings, check here or (even better) check our Facebook page.
We are currently meeting in the back room at Mazzio's on 51st & Sheridan in Tulsa.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Be Still!

Yes, a new school year has started!  What does that mean to Mom's of kiddos that are wired differently?

  • Happier kid, because they have structure again!
  • Angry kid, because they hate homework!
  • Happier kid, because they are around a friend/friends!
  • Sad kid, because they don't feel like they have friends!
  • Happier kid, because they love music/recess/math/science, etc.!
  • Frustrated kid because they don't understand the world in general (Yet!)!
  • Happier Mom, because they kiddo is in school
  • Frustrated Mom, because their life is taken over by helping with homework for hours every day!
  • Happier Mom, because they know their kid needs to be in the world and learn to navigate social, even if it's painful, while they are still in a semi-protected environment!
  • Stressed out Mom, juggling all of the multiple assignments, due dates, activities, emotions
And so it goes.  You could just as easily put in "Dad" here as well, as we know!

So, any combination of the above;  home schooled, public school, private school, we all feel an increase in momentum at this time of year.  Things happen in our society beginning in about September that change the "feel" of life, and if we "feel" that change, our kiddos feel that at about the power of 10 - we must always remember that!  As the parent of a 17 year old who has navigated these waters for a while, I can tend to forget that.  Until.  Something brings that back into super sharp focus!   The wiring of our kids will always be there - and be different than the typical person, although those wires start to be lots more settled in the majority of our kids as they grow older.  However, they will always have a predisposition to whatever their particular weakness is when things overwhelm them.  Last week for instance, we had a rough day - with multiple things going on all at once, and we were racing around trying to get them all done, and we were all about to implode. The choice we can make at such a time is to continue to escalate along with our kid - which is not a good idea.  
Or, we can be still.  
At the moment when I really wanted to escalate along with my 17 year old, I told him to stay in the chair at his desk and not move, and I chose to walk out into the yard and sit on a zero gravity chair. Turns out that was a really good idea.  
As I sat there and breathed, and looked out at the technicolor of a summer evening, heard the locusts and sound of the breeze, I just breathed.  All the escalation emotion evaporated.  And, I heard in my soul "be still and know I am God."  If you look up the different translations of this power verse, it is pretty cool the different meanings that are given:  Be still, Cease striving, Stop your fighting, Be in awe, Return, Let go,  
Good Stuff.  If you have not been to a Wrights Law seminar (free every year in Oklahoma City in December) you need to go.  One of the principal thing this attorney teaches is when you get that call from school that something crazy has happened, DO NOT DO ANYTHING right away (unless your kids life is in danger of course).  He speaks that there are very few things that happen that actually demand immediate action, and that if you wait, and think and get council, etc., you will most likely have a much better outcome.  I think this is just restating what God already has in place for us. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that the most powerful thing we can do is to actually not DO anything.  But instead Be Still and simply be aware that there is a God who loves us and our kids, who made them for a purpose, and although it may be difficult at times, if we will be still on occasion, He can help calm that storm and give us the breath to get up and go again.  
                                      "Be still, and know that I am God; ..."           Psalm 46:10